'Tief'  Edith Mary ASTERLEY (nee Coates)
1870 - 1962

Tief (Edith Mary Asterley)

Tief was very involved in Aymestrey life, playing a very important role in helping homesick newboys to settle in; and organising many of the school picnics and celebrations such as Bust-Up.  She was President of the Old Aymestrey Association for many years. 

Her family connections were significant in recruiting pupils for the school, the names of Coates nephews and various cousins appearing often in the early years; and in 1919 a cricket match was held between the rest of the school and the 'Relations' "(which) included Mr & Mrs Asterley and Dan, Stokes, Sergeantson, Noel Sharp, Eyton Coates, and myself – quite a team!"
Alfred Morcom 1919-1924 (1990 magazine)

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Lestor Steynor (1911-1916) remembered her as
"a tall lady who wore creamy white blouses.  I used to climb up her, as one would a tree, much to her amusement.  It was almost a party piece" (1990 magazine)

Tief in 1915 From Lester Steynor's Memories of Aymestrey. Thanks to Pen Steynor

Tief's kindness was Oliver Philpot's (1925-1927) first experience of Aymestrey, although she was not impressed with his using his straw hat as a boomerang! (Spring 1959 magazine)

Both John Page (1934-39) and Mike Tibbetts (1937-1945) remember Tief at the grand piano in the Hall accompanying Sunday evening hymn singing.

we took turns to request our choices.  She demurred only when asked to repeat 'Onward Christian Soldiers' yet again. (John Page 1934-39)

The name Tief was reputed to have resulted from Dan's early attempts to say her name. It is probably more likely it was a mispronunciation of 'Aunt Edith' by her nephews Joseph and John Eyton Coates - according to the Coates family nicknames often resulted from these mispronunciations - and Dan and others in the school also picked it up. 
 
After Sir’s death, when Dan returned to be Junior Partner (as the Mildmay’s were Senior Partners), Tief moved to the cottage to live with her sister Aunt Ness, and they were joined by Dan.  In 1947 she and Ness retired to Little Aymestrey but “it made no difference to her intense interest and enormous influence.”
(Spring 1963 magazine)

She remained very involved:

_“In her last term she attended the Old Boys’ Meeting and Dinner, came to Church and often walked all the way home whatever the weather, and never missed Sunday evening prayers at the school.  Only a fortnight before her death she was at the Carol Party: this she always regarded as her favourite event of the year and it is good to think that, if she had had the choice, this is what she would have picked for her last great treat.

Tief (Mike Powell)

Apart from her family – and she was a devoted upholder of family ties – the school was the dominating interest of her life, not only when, with Sir, she ruled its destiny, but no less in later years.  …  Aymestrey could do no wrong – at least as against the rest of the world, though she could be downright in private criticism.  But to individual boys, every one of them, she was never under any circumstances other than kind and understanding; and the more they were in trouble, whether in school life or from outside circumstances, the closer they were to her heart.  Nor did she ever forget them: old boys and their parents and former members of the staff who visited her were sure of the warmest of welcomes.  Indeed, she must have been one of the most tireless correspondents of her time, endlessly keeping up in this way her innumerable friendships, so that it was said in her family that she ‘ lived on cups of tea and letters.’  But it was what underlay the letters that she lived on.

_Very occasionally in private she would speak of ‘loving kindness,’ in a way that left no doubt that for her it was the greatest thing on earth; and surely if ever a human being was ruled by loving kindness it was Tief.”

Tief is buried in Eyton Churchyard, next to Maurice, and near her sister Aunt Ness.

Headstone in Eyton Churchyard